So, I bought a 2-pack of some shave gel the other day. It was cheaper than buying 2 singles so it was an easy decision. PLUS, guess what?!? I got a free gift!
Granted, shaving can seem like a racket in general, but I still choose to shave sometimes. Our commercialized first-world economy is nothing if not a marketing playground. For women (of course), there are specialized girly razors, girly shave creams/gels/etc, and girly moisturizers. All things the marketers have decided we must have if we are “girling” properly.
I have a razor. It is cheap and simple and sufficient. So I do not need the free gift razor that came as my super valuable bonus gift. That said, I certainly wouldn’t frown on a free razor.
Until someone tries to give me this:
Ok, I can hear you thinking all the thoughts. “But it was free...” “How bad could it be?” “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Lady.” “Don’t look a gift razor in the marketing, Pink Falcon.”
But I don’t think you can grasp the idiocy of this product without further scrutiny. First of all, it’s called the Intuition Fab. You are supposed to believe that your very own intuition made the suggestion that you have this razor above all other options. You are also supposed to know deep down in your heart (or somewhere similar) that this razor is Fabulous. Fab, even. Very, very Fab. Above all else, you are not supposed to worry your pretty little head over the special features of this razor.
The super special “like no other” feature of this razor? You can shave both up & down with it. There are two sets of blades facing in opposite directions! Phew, because if I ever want to turn the razor upside down, I just don’t know how I’d do it. Just imagine! Now instead of only pulling the sharp metal blades gently across your skin, you can conveniently change directions and push the other sharp metal blades into your skin. Because pulling gently and pushing against resistance are totally the same, right?
I have a pristine unused razor to pass on if anyone likes a challenge that may or may not draw blood. No purchase necessary, just some free crap!
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